Why women like abusive bad boys
Almost each time a woman asks me to help with her relationship i discover that she chased the man who seemed to be good for her only to find him a distant, abusive and unreliable man.
Not only does the woman get hurt by that man but she also finds herself unable to give up on him or to move on. (see How to get over anyone)
In the same time such a woman usually finds herself unable to accept being with that nice guy who is chasing her all the time.
Why do women like bad boys? and why do they prefer a man who abuses them over a man who seems to be nice?
Here is the quick explanation:
- They want what they can't get: Nothing turns a woman off more than a needy partner. After all if a guy kept running after a woman then she will assume that he is desperate and because women are biologically wired to get attracted to the strong man that needy type turns them off completely (see Why women like cocky men)
- They want a challenge: Most women want a challenge that can help them get a self esteem boost. Noting can make a woman feel better about herself than taming that wild guy who isn't emotionally available. In other words, women go for these men hoping to change them to the better but they usually find themselves stuck (see What turns women on)
- Biological wiring: Women were to designed to look for confident, charismatic, dominant and risk taking men. Because the nice guy usually doesn't advertise any of these traits he usually ends up being a good friend rather than a desired sexual partner (see Why do women like bad boys)
How to become a bad boy
In order to attract women you need to be a bad boy. This doesn't mean that you have to be bad, abusive or mean simply because there are few things that can make you seem like a bad boy even if deep inside you were a nice guy, here they are:
- 1) Low agreeableness: One of the biggest differences between nice guys and bad boys is their degree of agreeableness. Nice guys are people pleasers, they put everyone before them and that's why they always agree with everyone. Bad boys on the other hand put themselves first, without necessary being selfish, and as a result they disagree with women more often
- 2) Dominance: Bad boys are confident, charismatic and dominant males. Not only they are dominant when it comes to dealing with women but they are also dominant when it comes to dealing with other men. Women always notice where a man lies in the social hierarchy and the higher he appears to be in social rank the more attractive he is believed to be.
- 3) Anger: In my book The psychology of attraction explained i said that women find angry looking men much more attractive than friendly looking men. This doesn't mean that you have to show anger but it only means that an angry look can help you appeal more to women. One study has found that men who smile often were found less attractive by women.
- 4) Fear: Nice guys are cautious, not risk takers, afraid of life and they prefer to stay in their comfort zones. All of these traits can turn a woman off and that's why bad boys, who are usually full of courage, attract women the most. Women were wired to look for brave men who can protect them and that's why they fall for the bad boy
- 5) Clothes: A nice guy will usually focus on making his clothes and looks as tidy as possible. A bad boy on the other hand could have a beard, could be revealing his chest hair by leaving the first few buttons of his shirt open and could have his head fully shaved. Note that i am not talking about cleanliness as being clean in all cases is out of question but am rather talking about conforming to the rules vs being your true self
Final words about falling for the wrong person
If you can grab the best of the two worlds then you will be much more attractive to women. Be nice from the inside but learn how to appear bad whenever its needed so that you become more attractive.
As for you women, learn how to look for the strong and confident man who is in the same time reliable and caring. A bad boy doesn't always have to be unreliable and a good guy doesn't always have to be needy.
People who don't understand how others perceive physical attraction usually develop the imagined ugliness disorder.
The book The psychology of physical attraction explained was released by 2knowmyself. This book won't just help you understand how the attraction process happens but it will also help you discover how attractive you are and will assist you in getting over the imagined ugliness problem.
Want to know more?
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What turns a woman off
What women look for in men
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