Tom was running very fast but unfortunately not fast enough to escape from the man who was behind him. Tom reached a dead end and he was shot down. Few moments later the police arrived and the criminal was arrested, the criminal was shouting, he was repeating the same phrase over and over, this phrase was:
“I can’t believe I did that, I wasn’t thinking about anything else rather than taking revenge, how come did I do this!!!”
But just a second, didn’t that criminal have any other options rather than killing tom?
Why then did he say that he wasn’t thinking about anything but revenge?
The answer is to this question is very simple.When you experience any emotional state you have access only to certain parts of your mind's resources and so you have fewer options.
Sounds weird? Just watch yourself when you become angry, watch the kind of suggestions that your mind sends to you. Those suggestions are usually destructive, harmful and aggressive. Like for example:
Consider all the information, the knowledge that you have collected throughout your life and your mind's resources to be a big circle. when you are angry you access only a part of this circle (similar to the slice of a pizza), when you are afraid you will access a different part and so on.
Since the decisions you take are just the result of arranging the information that you have your options will be limited when experiencing any kind of emotion because you will have limited information.
So you may be wondering how can you access almost 100% of your knowledge database?
Simply by being relaxed! relaxed people give much more balanced opinions and take much more correct decisions. That’s why self confident people seem to be acting very naturally, its because they are relaxed. When you become relaxed you will be accessing one hundred percent of your mind's resources.
The first step you can do in order to learn how to relax is to learn how to control your breath. Start by learning how to take deep breathes especially when you are about to feel angry.
You should also start exercising as the chemicals released through exercising can help your body remain in a relaxed state.
You can also practice meditation or yoga. Both will help you learn how to relax in a better way and help you be more in control of your impulses.
Did that help?
Well yes but how can I manage my anger?
How to get over anyone in few days (book)
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How to develop rock solid self confidence fast (course)
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