Breaking up the wrong way

so many people remain in unhealthy relationships because they are too reluctant to take the step to breakup with their relationship partners. The first and the most important thing you should do if you think you should breakup is to fuel your intention to breakup by knowing the following facts:

1) Each day you spend in the relationship will make things worse: Each day you spend in that unhealthy relationship will affect your well being, increase your guilt and make it harder for you to breakup
2) Living with those feelings is worse than breaking up: Living with these unpleasant feelings resulting from your desire to breakup will make you feel worse than if you broke up right away
3) It would be much easier for your partner to get over it if you did it fast: The more you procrastinate the more your relationship partner will get attached to you and the harder will the breakup be for both of you

In short, the first step is to fuel your intention to breakup and understand the importance of moving fast.

How to breakup with someone without hurting them

In order to know how to breakup with someone without hurting them you need to know few facts about the psychology of breakups and the reasons some people fail to recover. Here are some of the most common reasons:

1) Hope is the biggest enemy of recovery: Recovery never happens if a person still believes that there is some hope even if that hope was too little. This is why people accept the death of close ones but can hardly accept breakups
2) Uncertainty fuels pain: When a relationship ends abruptly or if a person disappeared all of a sudden his relationship partner will suffer because of uncertainty. In my book How to get over anyone in few days i said that what hurts the most about some breakups is the fact that people don't really know whether the relationship ended or whether they can still negotiate it
3) Insecurities prevent recovery: So many people find it hard to recover from breakups not because they were in love but because they are unsure why they were dumped. A person might claim that he never recovered because he was deeply in love while the main reason for that might be that the breakup touched one of his wounds and made him feel worthless (see This is why you still didn't recover)

How to put everything together

Based on the previous facts you need to do the following when breaking up:

1) Make it 100% clear that it's over: Contrary to common beliefs when you make it 100% clear to your partner that there is no going back your partner is going to feel better (after grieving for few days). If you left any room for hope then recovery will not happen
2) Don't leave any question unanswered: Breakups must be done face to face in order for you to be able to answer all of your partner's questions. By making sure that there are no unanswered questions your partner will be able to recover much faster
3) Explain why you are breaking up very clearly: When you explain clearly why you are breaking up your partner will not make wrong assumptions about himself and his insecurities are not going to feed his self doubts
4) Don't do it and run away: If you broke up then disappeared right away your partner will keep making wild guesses and this will affect their ability to recover. You should breakup and keep waiting with your partner for a short period of time (in minutes) until you make everything clear.
5) Set expectations first: You can set your partners expectations first through a message or a phone call before you meet. By doing so your partner can be made more ready to accept what's going to be said

2knowmysef is not a complicated medical website nor it's a boring online encyclopedia but it's a place where you will find simple, to the point and effective information that is backed by psychology and that is presented in a simple and obvious way. If you think that this is some kind of marketing hype then see what other visitors say about 2knowmyself.The book "How to get over someone in few days" was released by 2knowmyself, the book is a 100% guarantee that you will get over anyone else you will be refunded.

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